Monday, Nov 24th - Hero: My Neice Emma

Emma is my hero for giving me 'genetic' proof that the Curtis' are natural born race car drivers!!!

Just look at the total concentration on her face, the steely glare at whatever obstacle lies in her way, the two-handed control she has on the wheel. This is a girl in complete control of her car AND her destiny...

It's not her fault that her passenger is a complete wussy.

AHHHH, Lou-Lou, your likeness to your Aunt Tracy brings a tear to my eye...

Peace, Love, and GOD,
Tracy

Wednesday, Nov 19th - Zero: People without Table Manners

This is a biggie with me, as some of you know. But, I mean, SERIOUSLY, how could so many people have been raised without knowing how to eat right? People MY age and older, too. Surely I wasn't in the minority when I was taught not to eat with my mouth open, or to smack my food (or gum), or talk with my mouth full, etc, etc...

I was at lunch yesterday with a couple of colleagues and one of them was so disgusting while he ate, I had to sit on my clenched fists to keep from wrapping them around his neck!!

Now, this man is in his 40's, and how he has made it this far in life without someone telling him that he sounds like a half-starved pig rooting in a garbage dump I'll never know.

I did learn something though, it is possible to breathe through your mouth AND nose (audibly) while chewing your food. Although, a dangerous side effect is little pieces of meat landing randomly on the uneaten portion of your food. Apparently, having it fly out of his mouth and land on his food meant he could eat it anyway.

It was a good diet day for me...

Food for thought going into Thanksgiving day. Do everyone around you a favor and remember that no matter how sexy you may think you are... NO ONE wants to see what I call 'pre-poo'. Trust me.

Peace, Love, and GOD,
Tracy

Thursday, Nov 13th - Hero: Indians and Pilgrams and St. Nick (oh my)

Anyone who knows me, knows I LOVE the holidays. They include two of my favorite things: eating and visiting with family and friends.

There are lots of opportunities to get together with family this time of year, and the communication amongst us goes up. You talk about the get togethers, you talk about gift ideas, you talk about meal planning, etc, etc. It's just really nice, I think.

This year, of course, the gift giving is more on the creative side vs the value side. Everyone is either already struggling or preparing for the struggles. But, I think that it is not necessarily a bad thing to be frugal and get our kids used to less extravagant gifts. The focus is so far off the meaning of the season that it's not even funny.

I know there's a lot of you out there that remember getting 'essentials' on Christmas morning - clothing, underwear, coats. And then there would be that ONE thing that would just light your world up. Maybe a bicycle, or a doll, or a board game. I remember one year me and my brother got skateboards. That was the 'it' gift. The one that you would spend the rest of the day playing with! Nowadays our kids get so many 'it' gifts that they act overwhelmed. It's a shame, really. I think that, because of the excess, so much of the magical feeling has been taken away.

One of my favorite Christmas' of my (so-called) adult life was when Erika was a toddler. We were so very, very poor then, living on Ramen noodles and Hamburger Helper. I had some coloring books with stories from the bible, and lots of catalogues lying around, so Erika and I colored pictures and we cut out pictures from the catalogues of things we would have bought our family if we had money. These we glued to poster board, and wrote a verse from the bible that fit that person. We spent hours doing that, literally, but they were hours that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I'll never forget Erika's little fingers coloring or the concentration on her face as she looked for just the right 'gift' to cut out for her mama's and papa's. Those little posters changed my life, and I think they did for those that recieved them, as well. Years later, when Erika was a little older, we did another project for my mom, aunt, and uncle that was a picture album. We had more money then, and spent more money, but that time I spent hours not only with Erika, but my Grammy as well. Again, hours I wouldn't give back for all the money in the world.

THAT is Christmas magic. People who love each other, spending time together to do something wonderful for other people they love.

What's your poster board project? Where's your Chrismtas magic?

Peace, Love, and GOD,
Tracy

Friday, Nov 7th - Zero: Me

I am a total goober. Really. But a goober with really great friends.

I have gotten lots of messages of encouragement from folks who have gone through much worse than me, and they are concerned for me. You guys are awesome. How some of you can keep from telling me to 'suck it up sally' is really quite beyond me.

My friend Karyn, down in Houston, sent me tons of notes yesterday letting me in on her own struggle with these kinds of issues. She's lost all of her grandparents, and doesn't even live in the same state as either of her parents. I can't imagine that, not having a large support system just down the road. On the plus side for her - she has an amazing husband.

My friend Alan sent just something short and sweet and encouraging. He's dealt with losses, as well as living a state away from his family. I love him dearly.

Karyn's mom, Dickie, also sent a great note over. She's awesome.

And you guys already heard about Darlene. By herself, she's the best thing to happen to me in my adult life. And - she brought Ann into my life. Double bonus.

Anyway, it's an embarrasment of riches, truly. The great thing about it is that I have been reminded of just how awesome things are for me. Maybe that is why I take the bad stuff so hard.

I have a great job that I love. It's tough and I am away from home a lot, but the work is very rewarding. I have a fantastic family. My mom is one of my biggest cheerleaders. She has ALWAYS made sure that I knew that I could do anything I want. She never talks about barriers with me, and is always letting me know she is proud of me. My Dad is strong, and good, and always does the right thing. When lots of Dads were bailing on their kids, he was doing everything he could to be there (more than i wanted when I was a teen..). I love my brother more than I know how to express and his wife is just one of the most decent loving people I have ever met. She makes me look good every Christmas because of her creativity, her passion is contagious, and she is an amazing mother. My dear baby girl, Erika, is an amazingly wonderful woman - a lot like me, but better in so many ways.

So really, what have I got to complain about? I have a few things not perfect, but so does everyone else.

Thank you all for helping me recover. If you ever doubt God is using you remember this - He used you yesterday.

Peace, Love, and GOD,
Tracy

Thursday, Nov 6th - Hero: Darlene Harris

You ever have one of those friends? The one who knows exactly what to say and when to say it? Well, for me that is Darlene.

I have been going through a very emotional time in my life. It has made me feel uncharacteristically vulnerable. I cry easily and fly off the handle at weird moments. Things that would normally not bother me just devastate me lately.

It's not a hormonal thing, in case you were wondering. I don't have the organs left for that. I just feel like one big raw nerve.

It all started with my aunt passing away. She was beautiful, smart, caring, and so young. I think when that happens you automatically start taking stock of your life and I was surprised to find that I don't really love my life.

Not necessarily because of anything other people do to me, more like what I allow other people to do to me. There's a fine line between humility and martyrdom and it gets blurred for me. I am one of those people who naturally think of other people first. I get a bonus and I start thinking of what I can buy for someone. I get some cool stuff for free and I think of who I can give it to. I'm not a shrink, but I think I could have some issues where I think I have to do things for others so they will like me. I also have guilt issues, because I have always felt the need to apologize for my success. Seeing that written down, I know how crazy it sounds, but the root goes all the way back to my ability to get good grades and my little brother saying it wasn't fair. Oh well.

So, back to Darlene. Yesterday was an especially bad day for me. I had dreamed about my Aunt Joy, found beer cans in my garbage (long story), paid bills and saw how little money we have, crazy worried about the state of my financial future with our new president, felt insulted over a friend's blog, AND got a call that my grandmother's heart surgery had a serious complication.

I broke. Just flat out broke, and I couldn't even work up the courage to talk to God. So I got up from my computer and walked out of the office and started driving until I was bawling so hard I couldn't see the road. Luckily there was a ding on my blackberry and a message from Darlene.

It was such a simple message, but was exactly what I was feeling and exactly what I needed - a small validation of my right to feel the way I do, and love.

Thank you Darlene. And thank you, Mom. Your call last night was the perfect follow-up.

Peace, Love, and GOD,
Tracy

Wednesday, Nov 5th - Zero: Us

I'm sick.

Can't say I didn't see it coming. From the minute the Dems decided to send their folks out if force to vote for John McCain in the primaries, I saw failure in the cards.

I really tried to keep my hopes up, though. I prayed for faith in the American people. In the end, you have to trust God. Somehow this must be part of his plan. He never promised us a rose garden, right? After all, we've been warned of tough times. Just read the New Testament. I just pray that we are strong enough for what lies ahead.

I've heard Obama compare himself to Abraham Lincoln, and naturally many of his Obamanics are quick to agree. Of course, those morons don't have a clue what Lincoln was about. Think about it - yes, Lincoln was a senator from Illinois with very little experience. Yes, he said some great things. Things that are still quoted today. Lincoln also signed the Emancipation Proclamation. But, how did he do it? Through aggression. Through force.

Don't get me wrong, I think slavery was a horrific thing. It was right to end it. But hearing Obama compare himself to Lincoln in a time when we have no slavery? That's scary. What's going to be his trigger? In what name is he going to create a new civil war? Will it be when he tries to disarm us, or when he takes away our right to religious assembly? Could be as simple as forced redistribution of wealth.

More likely it will be a stealthy encroachment on our rights. Little things that people will be swayed into believing is the right things. Raise the taxes on the rich, cause they don't deserve their money. Let's get those bastards down to our level. Tax the crap out of the small businesses, then when they can't afford to stay in business, the government will come in and take over. They decide who works there, then. More people dependant upon, and controlled by, the government. Yeehaw!!!

Windfall profit taxes. What could be wrong with that? Let's take over half the profits from the oil companies and create government controlled industry in the 'alternative' energy fields. What's wrong with that? Everyone wants alternate sources of energy. More people working for the government. Yeehaw!!!

Churches that spread intolerance. Let's get rid of those losers! Those preachers dare to stand up there and say that the only way to God is through Jesus Christ. That is SO un-inclusive. And can you believe that they say abortion is murder, and that sex outside of marriage is a SIN??? Spreading hate is what that is, so let's take them over and put government paid preachers in there that will teach in a way that no one is left out. More people being indoctrinated by the government. Yeehaw!!

God help us.

For all those that voted for Obama, all I can say is I hope your soul was worth the $500 rebate.

Peace, Love, and GOD,
Tracy

Saturday, Nov 1 - Hero: Selfish Americans

Hola from Las Vegas!

Just a quick note regarding the latest unbelievable statement from the big O. I heard him say yesterday that those of us Americans who do not want to pay more taxes are SELFISH. Well, if that makes me selfish, then I gladly wear the banner.

Cause you see, I feel like it's more important for me to support my family and the charities of MY CHOICE more than it is for me to give to another government program to help those who won't help themselves. Call me crazy.

By the way - did you hear that Obama has an aunt living in Boston - illegally? AND she lives in public housing. Obama wants to take your money to help people like his Aunt, when he won't even help her himself!!! And he's worth MILLIONS!!! NO, he wants to take money from 'rich' Americans making more than 120k and give it to Aunt Zeititunia...

Give me a break.

Peace, Love, and GOD,
Tracy